The weekend before last, we bought this:
And we moved out of this:
And into this:
I’ve been in my new job for eight days now. While I’m sure there is a honeymoon phase for every new relationship (romantic, friendship, job, etc.), that knowledge doesn’t keep us from loving it each time. My coworkers are great. My office is great. My Board is great. And the work that we do is phenomenal. I get to hang out with incredible women. They are intelligent, driven, socially active and funny. Last week I had three lunches with Board members: the board chair and two co-founders. In each one, it felt like an honor to be there. And not because any of them are high falutin, exactly the opposite. They all do important work in their fields AND are dedicated to Hardy Girls. I felt the same rush as when they offered me the position. The same sense of flattery and accomplishment. And, listening to each of them talk about the organization, I realize what I have to contribute.
I do miss the girls of MCI. They threw me a going away party and expressed real sadness at my departure. That, too, was flattering. They meant (mean) a lot to me and to know the feeling was mutual makes it that much more poignant.
For awhile, I kept saying I was just going to get a straight-forward job. Data-entry or retail. Something that requires skill, but a job I could leave at work. I was struggling with work encroaching my home life. That originally “working from home” sounded like a perfect solution to having babies and a job, but when your jobs don’t end and you’re on call personally and professionally basically all the time, time is like San Diego weather: it passes just as fast, but you have nothing to show for it. My mother and therapist (two separate people, just thought I’d clarify since my mother fills both roles occasionally) both said I wouldn’t happy in a straight-forward job. That I’d be typing or filing or answering phones and wondering why I wasn’t holding my new, happy, mellow, easier-than-making-cake-from-a-box baby. But I want something easy, I whined to both of them separately. Easy makes your brain atrophy, they both said separately. And they were right, as mothers and therapists often are.
In my new job, as I told my mom, it feels like my soul is refilling. I come home with more energy. I enjoy going to work. I feel lucky to have this job - a job I didn’t even really know was my life’s work until I started it. I believe most of the world’s problems can be solved (or at least greatly improved) by women. Therefore, these aren’t just women’s issues, they are people’s issues. When we limit each other so much, we limit our world. And who wants a limited world except for those 1% of people who aren’t limited (at least financially). I learned this week that girls’ ambitions peak at age 8. This breaks my heart. I still wanted to be president at that age. (If you really want to cry, google Dora, Strawberry Shortcake or Rainbow Brite makeovers - what is wrong in the world!?!?)
Point is, this job is a two-fer (It’s probably actually like a six-fer, but let’s just focus on two right now.) I’ve always felt the struggle of motherhood and working - not a unique thing, I know. But I have to work. In this position though, when I go to work, I feel like I’m helping to create the world I want for my sons. Maybe being away from them for a purpose only dissuades my guilt and they’ll still be talking about their absent mother in therapy in however many years, but I like to think not. I like to think they’ll be as proud of their mother as I know I will be (am) of them. I like to think my role here will teach me how to raise two kind, empathetic, considerate, intelligent, hardy boys who will be excited to be surrounded by so many hardy girls.
